In Alfred F. Jones

Hey guys. I'm now somewhere near the tailcoats of Alfred F. Jones (read: America). Basically, Honalulu, Hawaii. Today I'll be leaving on this cruise ship to visit the other islands of Hawaii. on one hand I'm kind of glad for the environment change. On the other, the internet is expensive on that shit(p).

America is really scary.

I'll tell you this now to explain why I'm freaked out.

Firstly, the people here are HUGE. Not just in foot size. They freaking TOWER over you. Like you're an asian gnome or something. Damn. Ritz might be right at home with them.

Also, this place is so COLD even though it's so HOT. Seriously, it's like...windy with a huge helping of sunshine.

Okay, and EVERYTHING in this country is LARGE. Like the helpings in meals. It's like...they expect you to not have eaten in DAYS. Kind of like Carl's Jr. ext.

I was sitting in the hotel room on the first day when I heard sirens wailing. And that wasn't the only time. Again, I checked with my Canadian email pal and she says that they have those every night in her neighbourhood. Well, in our good old sunny island, if you so much as whisper the neighbours will complain. But really, the sirens were freaky.

Just now, I heard strains of druken singing coming from the streets. And bloody hell, they were LOUD. I know Americans have strong vocal chords (among others) but man!

BTW, it is 4.50am in the morning.

Other notes:
1. Manhole covers. They use them. Shouldn't be a surprise for anyone not in the same country as me but still. I saw this one guy go down it and I was like 'Man, must be disgusting.'

2. Bicycle racks. They're in the shape of bicycles. Only without the wheels (the frame of the bicycle is literally the rack, people chain their bikes to it.) I was wallking back to the hotel yesterday when I passed by a rack and saw that only the wheel was left chained to it. I know thefts occur back in our country as well, but this is ridiculous! Broad daylight! What?!

3. No slippers. This is just a little irk for me. I like the slippers they provide in China and Japan. My Canadian email-pal was like SLIPPERS WHERE? WHEN DID THEY EVEN? Kind of like that. But really, no slippers. Sigh.

4. Everything here is expensive. I'm serious. Maybe, okay, maybe because of the exchange rate but SERIOUSLY? Too expensive.

5. There are a lot of Asians here. Like REALLY. REALLY. You'd go on the street and see 'Oh look, Jap, Jap, Jap, Jap, Local, Local, White, White, Jap, Afro-america, wow a Chinese!' This place is so overrun with Japanese, the shop signs and even IHOP's menus come in Japanese. Surprisingly, not as many Chinese. (Where have all the Chinamen gone? FF.)

6. Limited Internet. IT STINKS CAUSE IT'S EXPENSIVE. Well not in Holiday Inn, at least. BUT IT'S A WIRED INTERNET CONNECTION. Arrrhhh.

7. Only two bottles of complimentary water.

8. THIS PLACE IS TOO BIG. AND TOO DISORGANIZED. I wanted to find the fricking bookstore in this one mall and ended up going in circles before I found my way OUTSIDE of the mall and skirting around the carpark before I found the damn bookstore. NOTHING IS CONNECTED. For thsoe of you who have watched the Wallmart video, take care, you will find that when you get to America, it's not too far from the truth. Their signs are very useful directionwise.

9. Unrelated. But my dad and my sister snore. Partly why I'm up at this time surfing the net instead of tucked in that queen sized bed with my sis, forgive me, a 40 something kg chainsaw.

WELL I WANT TO GO BACK NOW. CAN ANYONE SEND A RESCUE CHOPPER?

Also, I haven't found a Basin Robbins yet, but I'll keep looking.

Hai GUYZ

Apparently, Cheryl wants to blog stalk me, so I'm here to make sure that NEVER HAPPENS.

SO DON'T GIVE MY URL TO HER. OR WHATEVER. What. Some people don't identify with slash and that'll just be ONE MORE PERSON up my case and saying 'I never knew you were this kind of person' SO WHATEVER.

GAH.

Never mind. i bet she found it.

Also, I've been switching fandoms. I've recently gotten hooked onto Sladin. WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH ME?!!! So Bevin is on hold BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN SLADIN'S UP FOR GRABS.

Still...-stalks ff.net- I'll be moving on to lj after that resource runs dry.

So far I got hooked cause of awesome writers and artists. Can I get a witness?

In other news, I've bought a huge truckload of books from the Penguin expo warehouse sale. Second hand books baby!

So far it's been a let down. I tried Milk Memos, then realized I'd bought a book about tips on how to be a working mom. Then I'm halfway reading Him Her Him Again The end of Him and realized that what's-his-name Eugene guy main character is a big fat SHITHEAD and it's sitting in my bag waiting for me to leave the house so I can continue reading.

Today I started on Black Box by Nick Walker and hot damn, it was funny. Then it got long-winded so I put it down and I don't know if it's going to be picked up with a vengance or with guilt.

On another note, I ran out of star paper. Shit.

Edit: (Cause I'm too stupid to make a new post) I JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING.
I MADE HWITAZ THE SENSIBLE ONE. OH DAMN THIS GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING FROM LAST YEAR'S NANOWRIMO. Crud.

Back from HONDA KIKU

Hey guys, sorry but I'm super lazy today. Maybe I'll take pictures of my journal and post it here when I get it back.

7 fricking days!

Plus, I had to put up with SNUBBY.

Snubby. Urgh.

Anyway, it was fun. Yeah. And I got lazy so I wasn't able to draw pictures for every prefixture. D:

Kid out.

Oh right, I'm still working on my Nanowrimo thing. It's not gonna get done but...

And shit, I haven't done the musical or my idea for The Teacherous Trysts of 3T

I'll get to it sooner or later.

Probably later.

Something's wrong with me.

I have a habit of rambling which I will do so now.

It has been a freaking long time that I have been alive.

This morning at 12 am I tried to unplug my video camera charger to put in my laptop plug when the stupid earth pin broke. And got stuck inside the damn power plug so I removed that altogether and spent the next few seconds banging it on my bedside table to get it dislodged.

It didn't work, so I used all sorts of tweezers and screwdrivers and nailclippers to dislodge it and only succeeded in jamming it further inside. Well that sucked.

Then I abandoned it altogether and said screw it, tomorrow I'll take the damn thing apart and take it out.

Then I began my 3 and a half hour fic rampage through the Ben 10 Bevin slash fandom and Sky High Warren/Will fandom. Awesome right?

Now it's 4am and I forgot to go and pig out on anime slash and focused on american beef.

Frick.

I want my Tactics slash and Bleach slash and I forgot to keep up with the Hetalia fandom everything's moving so bloody quickly without me.

Life sucks and chinese Os are in 1 day and my mom won't stop asking me 'Have you finished revising everything?' and 'Are you sure you went through everything?'

Plus I'm developing an irritating habit of folding stars. I knew I shouldn't have bought so much. But now I'm regretting buying so little.

Bloody hell.

To top it all off, my piano teacher says my practising has gone done the drain and I said, I practise like normal. But then she said that no, when you were younger you were better. Then my mom said the same thing as her today, she said 'What's wrong with you?'

I honestly do not know.

No matter how many times I read the same bloody thing or play the same bloody thing, nothing goes in.

There may be something wrong with me.

Damn.

Title

This is a blank post.

Okay so it isn't.

Did you believe me? Cause I totally lied. I'm badass like that.

DAMMIT.

Okay so chinese is being a bitch on me and I'm freaking out cause I'm too lazy to do work and next week's Os and I seriously am pissed off at my ineptency.

And my mom wants me to get an A1.

Shit.

Tyme for ebil tardish kickass poems.

Okay this one I wrote about a year or so ago. At the park. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking when I wrote it, but it was and is crap. Hooray for pissy title!

F#$king parents and their f#$king bitching.

Excitement comes in groups
The rest simply watch
Cool serenity gives way to boredom
Tiny fingers reach, grab,
Scoop, shovel
Reprimands, warning
Come from parents standing nearby
Arms crossed, observing, commenting
Garbled words
Broken speech
Short swift demands
Then walk away
Hand in hand
Following shortly, a remark
'Don't play with sand'

--

The next few poems are short ones I scribbled in class under the influence of heat, angst, Cyril Wong and other poets' poems (I recently bought them back then) and chemistry. (Or math...or bio...or something. I can't remember) I made up the titles after I stuck them in my 'Book of Unpublished Works' Oh and just to make it obvious, I DID HET. BE GLAD. Now you won't have to writhe through 'homo-erotic' pieces. HUM. -jabs a certain SOMEONE in the gut- (Project IceCream is TOTALLY NOT homo-erotic!)

Running Backwards

He is running an endless race
Mouth slightly agape in wonder
The scenery snaps and flickers and changes
Like a slide show of photographs
Sometimes he thinks he can hear a voice
Calling from the trees
Of people in the stands
But his eyes are fixed on the cracked ground
Parched world around him chokes on
Flying dust
His eyes sometimes fade out
Then in
Out
Into clarity and focus
Aiding a sweat-soaked mind
He thinks he will never finish

He might even be running backwards

-
End Note: Erm haha. :O Open mouths ftw.

Filling it Up

On days where people float by
With the words around them buzzing endlessly
He swats pathetically at the air
And curses himself
For unconsciously whistling a tune
She used to hum
Or mutter a phrase
She used to say

-
End Note: This makes me sound stalkerish doesn't it. (It does happen often. People are highly influential. But DAMN.)

To Survive

It is only when we realize the world has ended
That we pack up our things
And move

-
End Note: How many times has this happened anyway? In my dreams: PLENTY. Rather, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Where We've Been

And here we are now
stumbling along the brink of existence
with our heads bent awkwardly
between our knees
Pushed forcefully into place
like some unprofessional gymnast or
yoga position
I stare at my ass
instead of my navel
To see where I've been
and not pay attention to where I'm going
The blood I've sat on gleams
but my mother tells me its
Womanhood

-
End Note: I can't do gymnastics, yoga and I stain often. Frick. One more thing, those who can spot the Farenheit 451 ref gets a cookie.

Heat Capacity

Even if he is afraid, he moves forward
Knee deep in the sand of time
he wades across the desert
With the grains of sand reflecting him
in every direction
He is looking for an oasis
To scoop water from
and drink deep experience and knowledge
To affirm himself that he has meaning
Even if the cactus do not speak
and the bones are mute
and the sky is hot
and the day is forever
and the end is her

and he cannot reach it.

-
End Note: Got really repitive towards the end, but I was really pleased with this one. -shot for lame physics ref-

Lithuania (During the Russian Revolution or Bloody something.)

He's waiting at the window
with a hot cup of tea
Outside the bodies fall like dominoes
He wishes he could call out
'The tea is getting cold!'
But he doesn't move
because the blood is still warm
and winter is scorching cold

-
End Note: Hetalia. Don't ask.

Bliss

You once told me that the world would always be the same
I only realized that you were lying when I woke one morning
And felt that the world had indeed changed
When I told you what I experienced
You laughed at me and plucked the unripened fruits of doubt
From my brain
As you chewed on the green skin
You complained of the sourness
Chastised me, saying it was only daybreak

--
End Note: There is no explanation. It was a hot morning and a stuffy classroom. I REGRET NOTHING.

Done!

WHEW. Being awesome is tiring work.

If you steal my shit, I'll tear your head off.

Hell yeah.

Also, I'm being so awesome right? I even have my own book of works.

HAHAAAA. SUCK ON THAT, BITCHES.

...

Whay so vulgar.

I apologize.

Under these sad conditions, I saw a flower field!

Taken from a Bleach doujinshi 'Bittersweet'.

It's true. I did.

My teacher showed up at Sounds of Hope with his date. His guy date.

Somehow as the handbells played 'Under the Sea', a strange atmosphere was created.

How is that possible?

Moving on, I'm here to post some ambiguous story and to tell you all that although I'm doing Nanowrimo, it is a shame I have not begun. How sorrowful my heart is.

Speaking of sorrow, this year's concert sucked. The drama girls specifically. Anyone remember the seniors' play? The Oscar Wilde collection one, the one which showcased 'The Happy Prince', 'The Devoted Friend' and 'The Birthday of the Infanta'.

Anyone want to read his works, check them out here:
http://www.oscarwildecollection.com/

Also, since this year's 'The Happy Prince' was, in my opinion, bad, I will attempt to tell you why.

First of all, it was supposed to be GAY.

And AWESOME.

Which it wasn't, this year.

They made the swallow a GIRL FOR @#$$'S SAKES! HE'S A GUY. And at the end, the Happy Prince is supposed to say "I am glad that you are going to Egypt at last, little Swallow," said the Prince, "you have stayed too long here; but you must kiss me on the lips, for I love you."

It was supposed to be one of Oscar Wilde's more prominent homeosexual works.
And also, instead of two little girls under the bridge, it's supposed to be two little BOYS. Oh Wilde is turning in his grave right now.

One last thing before my crappy little story which will make you see rainbows and flowers (bara-bara.) and cry tears of blood, read The Gashley Crumb Tinies.

http://talis_white_crow.tripod.com/RIP_Gorey/GashleyCrumb.html

So awesomely gruesome. They have illustrations btw. Oh and enui is boredom, I checked it up.

On to the story!

In Truth

I have a friend who doesn’t lie about stupid things.

I, myself, do not write about stupid things.

Therefore, we get along quite smashingly.

“Is this the report you’re turning in? The about where you make a hypothesis and make a conclusion?” I picked up the paper he was writing on. “This is shit! What’s with ‘smashingly’? And why the hell did you put my name to it?”

“Hey, hey! Don’t crumple it! It was just a joke!” He snatched the paper from me. “Ah, see, you just screwed it up.”

I was not sorry.

He didn’t expect me to be sorry either.

“I tell nothing but beautiful lies,” he declared quite plainly to me. “Beautiful lies like butterflies.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” I said, eyes never leaving my report. The constantly scratching of my pen against the paper filled in the stunned silence. “Romantic poetry is not for you.”

“I wasn’t being a poet. I was merely stating facts.”

“You?” I was compelled to stare at him. “Very contradictory for someone who just declared he lies.”

“How do you know that wasn’t a lie?”

At that moment, I really, really wanted to-

“Just hit me.”

“What?”

“That was a lie.”

When he burst out laughing, I became very irritated.

“You know, the only truths that can ever exist are half truths,” he said. Juice splattered all over the table and a chunk of apple fell onto my report paper. Grimacing, I brushed it off. The smell of fermenting apples hit me along with the heat wave and I felt sleepy.

“But what constitutes as the truth,” I replied as I turned the page of ‘The Human Brain’. “Is what we perceive it to be.”

“What if I told you, you were the only truth in my life?” He smiled coyly at me around the mash of apple he had gathered in his mouth.

“Then I’d say you lie up my life,” I returned without missing a beat.

“And that,” he concluded. “Is why we get along so well.”

I couldn’t tell if that was a joke.

“I’m a scientist and a mathematician. All I can present is facts, I cannot lie.”

“And I’m an artist and a writer, I cannot tell the truth.” As he said this he threw a paper ball at me, and being the scientist that I was, I picked it up and opened it. It revealed a crudely drawn stick figure medley with other pieces of anatomy mixed in. I discreetly stashed it into my file.

“As it stands, not all writers lie.”

“If it were the truth, it wouldn’t sell.”

“If it were lies it wouldn’t even-” He flicked my forehead, successfully interrupting me. I rubbed it to make sure it wasn’t sticky.

“What makes you so sure the rules which apply to you science fogies apply to us artistes?” He noticed my action and licked his finger, “Here, I’ll help you.”

“Hey! No! What!” I flailed and batted away his hand. “There’s no need for that.”

“Hmph, suit yourself. And just for the record, I never said writers lie.” He retracted his hand and crossed his arms. “I just said it was impossible for us to tell the truth.”

I didn’t understand.

That irritated me greatly.

“I told a lie yesterday,” I said. “It was the first lie I’ve ever told.”

“Oh? Did you now?” He drawled, and leaned forward in interest. “And what sort of dastardly deed did you partake in?”

“I didn’t do my homework and told the teacher I’d forgotten to bring it.” My pen slowed down as I peeked over my glasses to gauge his reaction. He was not impressed.

“Yeah, and how old are you again?”

“As I have said before, it is highly illogical for mathematician and scientists to lie. There is only a right and a wrong, if it is not right, it can only be wrong. This isn’t philosophy you know. It just so happened that I have always stated right and wrong in a clear and definite stand.”

“And that’s where you differ from me,” he scribbled something on a piece of scrap paper as he said that.

“Science and mathematics have a very straightforward differentiation.”

“What about the setting of hypothesis?” He thought aloud, and reached for another apple. “That’s ambiguity if I ever saw it.”

“A hypothesis is merely the assumption made, it is only temporary until a conclusion is made and right and wrong are cut sorely in half.”

He pretended to look thoughtful while studying the apple. “Sorely is right,” he said as he pressed his nose to the apple. “But does that mean that wrong is not?”

I rubbed my temples as he grinned in triumph.

I turned away as he began to speak again. “Pellluuuciiidd...” he whined. “Tell me a great lie. The greatest one you can ever tell.”

I looked him straight in the eye and said, “I love you.” Then, “That was a lie.”

Hwitaz stared at me for the longest time. Then laughed, “That was the best lie I’ve ever hear. I can’t even tell which one was the lie.” He stopped laughing just as immediately as he had started. “Yes.” He said mostly to himself. “That was a good lie.”

“You’re crying,” I said. But he knew it meant You’re lying

“Oh no,” he replied. “It’s only my eyes.” I’m not.

The Endish.

Yes, welcome new characters. Or old characters from last year's Nanowrimo. Ufu. Yes, I shamelessly reused their names.

I'm so awesome aren't I?

I forgot what their names meant.

Wikisearch!time:

Pellucid: Transparency/Translucency
Hwitaz: White (Proto-germanic form)

...

I am nuts.

Shit.

But HAHA, Pellucid is so transparent to read, and Hwitaz tells WHITE LIES. AHAHAHA. -shot-

NEW STORY NEW STORY NEW STORY

Yeah well, this is the story I entered for the aforementioned Sci-fi thing.

I made it better. (and by better I mean gayer)

Oh and Viridi was supposed to be a guy, but for the sake of the judges and the competition, I made him a girl. Now he's back to being a guy. Good on you Viridi.

Btw, Geolwe and Viridi were my last year Nanowrimo characters. Also, Geolwe means yellow, Viridi means green.

Project IceCream

Even if I try, I can’t remember the original name for the experiment. I only know for certain that my test subject loved ice cream.

“I told you, you can’t use it for things like that!” Viridi’s voice stopped Geolwe right in his tracks. The chainsaws clattered heavily as they hit the ground. He turned slowly to face the man in the pristine white lab coat. The black bangs that usually fell in front of his face was pinned back with the use of some old bobby pins Geolwe had dug up for him while exploring the laboratory. Looking closer, Geolwe noted Viridi was clearly unhappy and it showed on his angular features, features that looked too feminine to belong to a man. He had his hands tucked in his coat pockets like always, a small frown hung on his lips which were slightly slack from speaking. He approached Geolwe and stopped a metre away from him. Always with the distance, Geolwe thought, treating him as though he were a fragile experiment. Even if that were so, he didn’t have to go and be all distant about it.

“I’ll use it for whatever I damn well want; it’s my body, isn’t it?” Geolwe retorted, anger spiking sharply as he remembered that Viridi stopped him on a professional level, wanting only to protect the experiment. He hefted the chainsaw onto his shoulder and ignored the twinge of pain as the sharp teeth of the saw bit into his back.

“It’s still in its experimental stage,” Viridi chastised. “We can’t have you losing an arm over something so trivial.” He gestured to the chainsaws that lay cold on the floor, like so many dead fish, staring up with their starving teeth, glittering with Geolwe’s blood.

“If I lose the arm, then just attach it back!” Geolwe replied dismissively, reaching down to retrieve the chainsaws. He tugged once, and the chainsaw spluttered disbelievingly. He tugged twice and this time it didn’t even respond. “Stupid piece of junk. Anyway, didn’t you say tests needed to be carried out in order for the experiment to be a success?” He tugged on the string again. “Geez, you’d think that a laboratory which ‘modifies humans’ molecules to arrange and rearrange themselves so bodily harm isn’t possible’ would have better chainsaws.”

“We’re on a budget,” Viridi gave a long-suffering sigh. “What with having to cope with the lab rats’ unreasonable demands and all.” He shot Geolwe an accusing look.

“I only asked for one measly king-sized tub of chocofudge ice cream as payment…” Geolwe moaned. He turned his attention back to the chainsaws and experimentally tossed them into the air.

“I'm not talking about the payment,” Viridi sighed again. “I'm talking about how we have to cope with your destructive ‘experiments’.”

“Hey, I'm doing the nation a favour.” Geolwe flung the chainsaws into the air, juggling them swiftly. Viridi watched with mild interest as Geolwe handled the sharp teeth of the chainsaws with his bare hands. The skin on his palms continuously being torn and reforming, nothing short of a miracle, Viridi thought. A few years ago that wouldn’t have been possible. It had only been a dream of his to reconfigure the human DNA so that the molecules which make up the body would be free-forming. He had sketched out his plans at the age of 17, at that time it was only a far-fetched illusion. Now, after digging up the plans and ironing out the schematics, Viridi had been able to gather together a team of scientists willing to participate in such a dangerous experiment.

Geolwe on the other hand, hadn’t much of a choice.

Viridi watched him as the blood sprayed from his palms, momentarily ceasing to flow when the chainsaws were airborne but resuming their course down his arm when Geolwe carelessly grasped the razor sharp edges. The chainsaws danced in the air, humming loudly. Geolwe hummed along, grinning with excitement; no doubt the adrenaline was pumping through his body.

--
Before being recruited as a test subject, Geolwe had been a street thug. All his life he had had to deal with danger. Pain and suffering haunted his every action. But the thrill of living kept him alive.

Viridi had been scouting around the allies of the thickest city, where the unwanted crawled in the dirt like slugs and the stronger ones prowled the streets for survival. There, he had met Geolwe.
Geolwe in all his rags and filth, stumbling around in the alley like a drunken fool one moment, slipping around the corner like a snake the next. He was no older than Viridi, and his records showed no connections whatsoever to the upper class that existed in all its bustling glory above and away from the streets.

Viridi could not relate to people from this area at all, which made scouting even harder. He had been born among people who floated around, hovering in the air and talking at light speed with free-forming smiles that diffused into and from the air onto the faces of the people themselves. But unlike other members of his caste, he preferred the cool, sterile emotionless environment of the laboratory. It allowed him to drift by while dragging his feet on the floor, it let him play god while reminding him he was mortal.

Geolwe was the very epitome of one who had lived his whole life with his face in the dirt. But somehow, Geolwe had managed to pick himself up and wipe each speck from his nostrils and ears and eyes and mouth and found a voice that carried itself through the darkest nights, allowing him to speed by the days, never looking back.

Honestly, when he first saw Geolwe, until he checked the city records, he could have sworn he was from the upper-class, thrown into the trash by circumstance, with the way he carried himself.

He had first snarled at him and lunged, his dirty brown hair streaming in the wind. Viridi had flung his arms up in front of his face on instinct but all he felt was a rush of air and heard the sound of someone collapsing behind him.

“I missed.” Geolwe declared to him as if daring him to admit he’d just saved him from being mugged. He made a show of being bored but curiosity won over his actions and he scrutinized Viridi’s outfit. “You look like a used tissue,” he said as he pointed at Viridi’s white coat, soiled from the dirt of the underworld, clearly a dishevelled and inexperienced outsider.
Viridi had been scouting for almost a week and was at his wit’s end. If he didn’t find a test subject by today, the experiment would be called off. This…thug, he reasoned, seemed like a decent enough human being as compared to the rest of the lot he had encountered the past week. It was either now or never. Viridi cleared his throat and asked, “Yes, well, would you like to participate in an experiment to serve your nation?”

“What nation.” Geolwe spat. Viridi watched as the spit flew from Geolwe’s mouth and with a swift movement, he flicked a microchip into the spit globule. With the implanted control centre in his hand, Viridi brought the globule close to him and it hovered gently above his palm. A finger twitched and suddenly the spit was in the shape of the country. “This nation,” Viridi replied boldly.

“And this experiment.” He began again, moving his fingers in a swift motion, he saw Geolwe’s eyes readily following the spit’s every morph and transformation. He breathed deeply and continued in the way he had so many times, feeling the words form and reform in his throat, marvelling at the possibility of it happening to a human being. “I have devised a way for the molecules, or the tiny particles that make up matter, in the human body to form and reform when struck a blow to any one area of the body. This is such that even when viciously stabbed in a vital region,” Viridi clenched his fist and the globule of spit took the form of a human. Another droplet of spit transformed into a knife and stabbed the ‘spit human’ in the chest. “The chest will merely open up to form a cavity or reform around the wound. This is basically the normal process of healing; only it occurs instantaneously.”

“Kind of like ghosts and superheroes, huh,” Geolwe whistled, obviously impressed.

“To put it crudely, yes.”

“Give me a reason why I should do this.”

“There are benefits. Two being that you stay out and keep out of prison, and another being that you are rewarded in any way you wish. Money, technology, material possessions etc.”

“I don’t like the idea of immortality though.”

“You can die; it’s just that you heal faster.”

“It’s boring not being able to feel any pain.”

“Who said anything about it being painless? Of course, that is also an option, but since it’s still in its experimental stage, it’s not guaranteed.”

Geolwe punched the glob of spit suspended in the air, knocking the microchip out of it. He stared at the remains of the chip on the muddy floor of the alley. “It smells like dogshit here,” he finally said. Then he looked up at the sky, as if throwing a question at the heavens he knew would only fall flat on its face. “…Will there be ice cream?”

Viridi looked at Geolwe for a long time. His back was to him so he couldn’t see the expression on his face when he said that, but still he replied, “Yes. There will be ice cream.”

He would make that question reach the stars.

--

Then, Geolwe let out a yelp of pain and the chainsaws fell down around him like so many hailstones.

“There,” Viridi sighed for the third time in the last hour. “I told you.” He walked over to where Geolwe was crouched over, grabbing at his shoulder. He picked up the disembodied arm that lay a metre away and held it close to Geolwe’s shoulder. The molecules from the arm and the shoulder detached themselves from where the cut formed, one by one, and rushed to the molecules opposite them, reattaching the arm. Geolwe winced in pain during the process. “I told you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, yeah, you did.”

“Good, now for punishment, no ice cream for a week.”

“Aw!”

--

“Test subject 9353G, are you ready to commence the experiment?” The mechanical voice droned. Geolwe frowned openly, he didn’t like it when Viridi acted detached but Viridi had told him that it was part of being a scientist, you had to be detached from your experiments, no ties, no binds, if not they would have to hold a formal funeral every time a rat died, and they just didn’t have the time for that.Geolwe thought it was true but refrained from adding that he wasn’t a rat. Even if he was.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. Get on with it already!” Geolwe yelled.

The voice paused before continuing, “Are you sure?”

“W-” What the fuck is that supposed to mean, was what he was going to say, before he caught himself and heard the worry in Viridi’s voice. “Yeah,” he said. The experiment must be a dangerous one, no wonder it had Viridi on the edge for the past couple of weeks. Even in the hallways Viridi couldn’t meet his eye, he couldn’t even return a coherent greeting. It had happened before, Geolwe thought, and he’d made it through fine. He’d just have to get through this one and Viridi would be reprimanding him like normal and cut away that blasted shaking every time he addressed Geolwe. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He repeated.

“Oh…kay.” There it was, Geolwe thought, the normal Viridi, before he switched to the mechanical tone that said, “Initiating radiation sequence."

He heard the usual sounds, loud charging, something like doors being slammed, irritating beeping noises and the usual sights, people in lab coats staring at him from a large glass panel a few metres above him, blinking lights, blinding lights. He searched the group, sought out and found Viridi. Viridi staring wide-eyed, Viridi slack-jawed, Viridi crying…

Wait, back up.

Viridi cr-

He didn’t have a chance to finish that sentence before he felt the pain of his whole body being ripped to shreds.

He screamed.

--

“IT’S NOT- ! IT’S NOT-! WHY ISN’T IT-? IT’S NOT-?!” Geolwe screamed, unable to form coherent sentences through the blinding pain. Viridi watched helplessly as the other professors strapped Geolwe down and wheeled him off to the examination room. He waited for a bit, for Geolwe’s voice to fade away with each injection of the anaesthesia, before he followed them into the room. The heels of his shoes made a soft clacking noise against the floor, like the sound a chainsaw makes when it falls to the ground.

--

“I’m sorry,” Viridi offered uselessly as he slumped into the chair beside the cold bed. Geolwe’s condition had stabilized but the results showed that Geolwe was falling apart quickly, molecule by molecule.

“Don’t give me that shit,” Geolwe snarled. “I signed up for this; I got exactly what I asked for. You warned me about the risks, didn’t you?” He had, Viridi thought, he definitely had, but nothing could be forgiven for that error he had made. But, he also hadn’t given Geolwe much of a choice.

“You also signed up for ice cream,” Viridi pointed out. Geolwe laughed weakly.

“I got that too, didn’t I?”

An uncomfortable silence settled between the two. The room was blindingly white and light seemed to emit from all four walls of the room and even the ceiling and floor. At least, that was what Viridi told himself as he squinted painfully at the test subject he had grown so attached to, his eyesight blurring for an instant.

“Don’t do that shit in front of me,” Geolwe reached out to Viridi. To hit him? To slap some sense into him? No, Geolwe fully intended to wipe-

Only he couldn’t.

His thumb passed right through Viridi’s wet cheek.

Viridi lost it.

“SHOULDN’T HAVE CARRIED IT OUT! IT WAS A STUPID DREAM! A FUCKED UP DREAM! ‘IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE’ THEY SAID, ‘FOR THE GOOD OF THE COUNTRY’ THEY SAID, ‘SCIENCE HELPS PEOPLE’ THEY SAID…THEY SAID AND T-THEY…said…” his voice trailed off to a smattering of syllables. He buried his head in his hands, and his hair fell like a curtain around him. “Fuck.”

“Shut up and just get me some goddamn ice cream,” Geolwe said.

--

He’d make it work, he swore. He’d fix it. He’d salvage whatever the hell he could and save Geolwe from such a unfortunate fate.

He worked late into the night, constantly scribbling down possibilities and fiddling with his electron microscope. One moment the molecules shifted together and he thought he’d got it, but the next a gust of wind separated them and they drifted off the slide. He let out a cry of frustration.

Days passed, and he thought he would be able to make it. The medical report that came in said that Geolwe had 24 hours before he spilt apart completely but Viridi had hope. He had only one last equation to formulate and he would have the cure. He wouldn’t be able to completely reverse the effects of his experiment, but Geolwe would be able to touch things again.
He scribbled in the last x and mixed in the proportions.

Another professor burst into the room. “S-sir! It’s an emergency! The test s-” Viridi was already running down the corridor towards Geolwe’s room before he could finish his sentence. He clutched the antidote tightly in his hands. Two litres of magnetic fluids sloshed against the sides of the flasks he held, on his waist a set of syringes clinked together in time to his frantic footsteps. The magnetic fluids were modified to blend into Geolwe’s DNA, allowing them to properly attach themselves together again, but since they were weak magnets, they would not be affected by surrounding metal objects or magnetic. Even if they were, Geolwe’s skin would be sufficient to prevent such an occurrence.

As he made his way down the corridor, he realized that the curved corridors were like vanilla ice cream. Geolwe hated vanilla, he thought.

--

The development process that had taken him more than four weeks to get through, took only a mere four minutes to administer. It would have taken three if he hadn’t been shaking so much. He had filled the machine with the magnetic fluids and only had to hook Geolwe up to it by injecting the needles into him. He brought the needle close to his arm and almost slapped himself for shaking so much. “Calm down,” he told himself. “Just give him the damn injection and calm down.”

He braced himself (which took 30 whole seconds) and steadied himself (which took another 20) and in the last 10 seconds when he thought he might as well just shove it in and hope for the best then almost kicked himself for thinking that, Geolwe regained consciousness. He took one look at the needle, then at Viridi who nearly starting shaking again and told him “Just stick the damn thing in already, jackass!”

Viridi did.

--

Afterward, the team of scientists he had been working with came in while Geolwe was unconscious. They called Viridi out and held a meeting, like always, before a big decision was made.

--

“So that’s it. I’m completely abandoning this whole experiment.” Viridi said and glanced over to Geolwe. “While you’re still in one piece.”

“It was fun while it lasted,” Geolwe sighed nostalgically, flexing his fingers. Viridi grimaced at him and threw the ashes of the burnt papers down the garbage chute. Geolwe stretched and yawned, Viridi watched him, his hands itched with the desire to record his observations. He knew that if someone were to use a ‘sound machine’ in the room, they would hear the high-pitched creaking of the magnetic fluids in Geolwe’s DNA. When Geolwe knew about the new sounds his body made, he laughed and said that if he ran fast enough, he could chase away dogs. Viridi had frowned at that and replied that it was out of dogs’ hearing range.

Now Geolwe turned to look at him and asked, “What now?”

“Well, I don’t get out much,” Viridi said. “You could show me around?”

“Well said.” Geolwe clapped approvingly. Around them, one by one the scientists tidied up their belongings and flocked out of the building. Murmurs rose and fell around the room, one or two scientists came up to Viridi to congratulate him or express their disappointment. Viridi only smiled tiredly, the rings under his eyes more prominent than ever. Unbeknownst to him, Geolwe watched on with an unreadable expression.

When they were the only two left in the quiet research room, Geolwe let out a sigh of his own and grinned at Viridi. Then he poked Viridi’s cheek teasingly. “First, we should get some ice cream.”

“Yeah,” Viridi turned and leaned his head tiredly on Geolwe’s shoulder. “Ice cream sounds nice.”

--

Epilogue

“Next time, you should make a machine that makes ice cream!”

“They already have that; it’s called an ice cream machine. They made it a long time ago, and then they improved it recently. Now it makes ice cream appear in your hands.”

“W-well, then, they should make it appear in your mouth!”

“Now where’s the fun in that?”

“…”

“What?”

“Not like you to talk about fun.”

“Well you’ve rubbed off on me, in more ways than I’d have liked.”

“Hah! So you admit it then, you liiiiikke me!”

“That was in no way connected to whatever I just said. You must be hallucinating.”

“Hey man, I’ve been to more than one stranger’s bed. I know how it works. Hell I’ve even been to both sides.”

“That’s not love.”

“So you admit it then?”

“…What?”

“I’m serious though, I like you.”

“…”

“Don’t act like you don’t know. I’ve seen how you look at me. Fucking creepy at times, but sometimes, it makes me feel really good. Like I’m the only one that matters.”

“…-”

“And not because I’m a valuable experiment.”

“That is not true.”

“Stop lying. Hey, you’re ice cream’s melting. It’s dripping all over you.”

“Wha- Hey! Don’t lick it! Whoa, that’s my ice cream you know!”

“Hm, nice, even though I hate vanilla.”

“I know.”

“What was that? Oh yeah, this is yours right? You can have it, too.”

“What are you- MMPH?!”

“…”

“…”

“…There.”

“It tastes like chocolate. I hate chocolate.”

“I love you too.”

--

Post-Epilogue

“Maybe I should build that ice cream machine after all.”

“Why the sudden change of mind?”

“You prompted it.”

“…Bastard.”

End?

Haha, You know, I'm seriously considering a sex scene for these guys. But I'll make Viridi a girl first to make things simple for their 'first-time' orz. HAHA.

But later he'll turn back into a guy and they'll do it again. Hee.

Oh and something stupid to note:

I actually made fanfiction for my own story. How lame am I.

NEW POST NEW POST WE LOVE NEW POSTS

So a lot has happened.

I won a science challenge writing competition (merit), I won poetry slam (3rd place), I did a YAWP tour, I got through EOYs, I wrote a thousand poems and stories. HAHA.

And here I am.

Still hyped on Hetalia, and (recently) Bleach, and JR and other stuff.

I made this huge TO-DO list while I was going through exams. Gonna be more than one post today. First I have to post all my stories.

I did a commission for my mom, the first one ever! Cause her colleague was going away and they didn't know until the day that she left.

For The Silent Mathematician

This poem was commissioned by a very strange person
May the reader enjoy the fruit of this person’s labor

You’d think 2-3 decades of maths
Was good for a person’s soul
In reality, it’s really not
But still you said ‘Two halves make one whole’

You’ve spent all these years teaching trig
To students who were never quite there
It kind of contributes to the reason
Of your gradually graying hair

When the kids shouted ‘We don’t get it!’
And slouched back in their seats
You smiled wryly and carried on
Answering ‘I’ll repeat’

One by one the younglings
Disappeared before your eyes
Knowing the root of 144
And the origin of pi’s

Now you too have moved on from
Our board of education
Adding on your life’s achievements
To your extraordinary equation

Honestly, this was pretty rushed
With H1N1 in our midst your colleagues were in a mush
For 3 decades of tireless work they should’ve thanked you proper
But they’ll be apologizing on their knees for the things you’ve always offered
--

I'll also be working hard for my musical!

Next one:

This one was performing school, it gained quick popularity with my juniors who insisted on telling me 'I AM A REBEL' when they saw me in the corridor or concourse. I was like oh-okay man, wtf.

I am a rebel

I disobey my parents
And I stay up really late
I don’t do my homework
And I don’t clear my plate

I don’t brush my teeth
And I gargle with sprite
I trash talk the teachers
And I state my own rights

I take nasty photos
And post them on facebook
I flame youtube vids
And show people ‘the look’

I am a rebel
But my friend is one too

I do all her homework
And sleep at 10
I cleans the whole house
And arrange all my pens

I listens to my parents
And brush three times a day
I dress properly
And give others a say

I pose with friends
And keep photos private
I have a pink blog
And avoid starting riots

I am a rebel
My friend is one too
I am a rebel
Frick all of you.

--
It was supposed to by a first person rant all the way but Alison picked up on the rhythm and made it into a rap which we spilt into four people. And they changed a lot. Oh well.

Next one:

This was a promotional poem I made for poetry slam on request of my teacher. It took some time but I really wanted to do it. Kind of. And my teacher helped, she thought up (lousy) lines and I improved them and she added more.

Sick of cramming?
Can’t stop clamming?
Want to live life on the lam?
Want to talk back to the Man?

WHAM BAM ZAM CLANG
What’s that sound?
POETRY SLAM!

It made the jam,
It stole the ham,
It caused the spam,
It’s caught on webcam!

Can’t meet our school’s demands?
Stuck tight in quicksand?
Just take a chance and raise your right hand

And scream out loud ‘YES I CAN!’
So do the right thing and BE A MAN!
Make your stand at just three and ten!
Sign up today! Join POETRY SLAM!

--
I don't think it was performed well?

Next one:

This one I entered for a competition. It didn't win. Blah. I had high hopes.

Stupid Important Things
Every school has its own ‘Strategic Thrust’. If you know what I mean…
Teachers have as much homework as students do. Only they have answer keys
They make the school so cold even though it’s so HOT in this country
Counselors are trained to mess with your brain

Since they stopped selling coke and coffee in the canteen, people have been falling asleep in class Drinks used to come in plastic bags with straws, the quantity was also larger
Wednesday is ‘Fried Food Day’. It is the best day of the week
In OBS, the most important thing is to keep your 'happy food' on hand

Girls may want to be guys but it doesn’t mean they’re gender confused
If you stick your finger in someone’s belly button for more than 5 seconds, it’s rape.
If you don’t have nicknames, you are more hated than those who do
The most heartbreaking thing is to ‘divorce’ your friend

The best jokes nowadays usually involve sex
Save the animals, teach the kids bio, then everyone will become a vegan
A mole is neither a mole nor a mole
When you’re in Upper Sec, June Holidays don’t seem like holidays at all

Keeping someone’s particular favourite item for an extended period of time is bullying
If you take notes during a sex education talk, you will be stared at
Putting the textbook next to your head won’t help you absorb information
If you make a Tamil movie with no songs or dances, no one will watch it

When bunnies are happy, they do the ‘bunny hop’, or ‘binky’!
Bird shit can be found anywhere, whereas lizard shit can be found everywhere
Snakes can make it to the third storey of a building
Ants can even make a trail through a poorly-ventilated classroom to a desk right at the back

You have to pay to be free in Singapore
If we were ever involved in war, a single bomb would wipe us out
In Sec School, if you’re not German, you’re French. If you’re not French, you’re Japanese. Wait, what?
We’re not living in a little village where everyone ‘trusts each other’

One more year and we’ll all be legal

--
I could tell you guys where each line came from (yes these really happened. except for the war.) but the people who said them wouldn't be too happy.

HAHA. I really had high hopes for this baby.

Next one:

Another Poetry Slam entry. Actually, I wrote two of the poems and rewrote and shaped the last one. the last one didn't get us first. Huh. This is the first poem.

June Hols

It's the middle of the school year
And on our calendar there’s a smear
It says ‘HOLS IN JUNE’
And little annotations scribbled like runes

It’s the start of our HOLIDAY
Woke up on a Monday
Everything’s fine, it’s quarter past nine
BUT WHAT!? WE’RE LATE!

Gotta rush, run, quick!
We’re be late and that…that schtick
Will definitely nag us on the bus!
Girls, where’s your prototype bust?

On Tuesday, we’re deign to sleep
But the alarm clock just BEEPS and BEEPS
And then we’re off in a flash
Dash and dash, on to CIP!
Can we help it if we’re sleepy?

On Wednesday, PROJECT MEETING UNTIL 5
The SMS read over peanut buttered bread
AND NO YOU CANNOT SKIVE

On Thursday, slept in
Woke to the telephone ring
The tuition teacher’s on the line
“I’m coming today, is that fine?”

Friday, oh Friday, we love the most
Come raise, your glass, and give a toast
Hello? I’m calling from school, can you host?
This event, remember? The one by the coast!

Saturday and Sunday, the days of the week
Where we do everything, EXCEPT for sleep
HAVE YOU FINISHED YOUR HOMEWORK?
YOUR CHURCH GROUP CALLED
YOUR FRIEND IS HOLDING A PARTY
CAN YOU COME?
PLEASE ATTEND
IT’S COMPULSORY
BE THERE

SSSTTTTTTOOOOOOPPPPPPP
This…cannot be called
The JUNE HOLIDAYS
You know what this is called?RIDICULOUS!

--
Yeah I got really frustrated one afternoon and just typed it off the top of my mind during the june hols. Sanaa was a big help, she said each stanza was awesome and somehow that gave me enough encouragment to keep writing and not backtrack and scream at myself for not writing something good.

Next one (and last for this post):

This one was a running candidate for poetry slam competition material. But in the end I decided it was stupid so I convinced my team that it was stupid and it didn't get performed. I don't know how we would anyway.

Cartoon

There’s a very simple logic
Behind the fickle screen
Which plays a fickle picture
With multitudinous scenes
Click. Bzzt. Click click.
P
U
E
M
U
L
O
V
A merrrrryy tune is played
With cymbals and trumpets and disco beats and frays

Then we see our main character
Hopping into the scene
A casual fellow, cool and calm,
Sweeter than a dream

Then the narrator reads out loud
In scathing tones so deep
“And now our gallant hero finds
Himself in Slippery Creek”

Bubble bubble bubble
SPLISH SPLASH SPOOSH
What’s he doing? No one knows
Then suddenly, WOOSH!

IS HE BEING CHASED? OR IS HE CHASING SOMETHING
SOMETHING SMALL AND WEAK
OR IS HE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING LARGE
LOOK! IN THAT BIRD’S BEAK!

The rockets emerge, the flint is struck
And the hissing sound ensues
But at the last moment something goes wrong
And what’s left is our brave hero’s shoes.

What’s the moral of the story, dearest children, dear
That cartoon characters can be stretched, exploded and rendered
That action lines pack the punch and gravity is a smear
That feelings can be stretched so far

And not a thing will he fear.

--
Eheh. Looney tunes, Tom and Jerry, you know the ones.

Well that was that. For this post. I still gotta update you guys on my latest works.

I am finally BACK from OBS and I FINALLY FINISHED THIS POST.

And this is what I made of it.

But before I begin my rant, recount whatever, I'd like to apologise for not telling all you doodes out there that I was going in the first place and not ranting about it before. I got lazy and put my priorities in order. That is to say I had to stuff my brain with gay porn before I could take on OBS. And writing a blog post just doesn't cut it for entertainment.

Anyway the blog post I had unfinished started with me coming up with something like this

OBS=SOB

Still kind of relevant

The seniors all missed OBS like crazy and we heard they stood on the pier crying that they didn't want to leave. Well good news is most of us didn't end up like that, the funny news is that some of us did.

I continuously asked my friends during OBS whether they LOOVVEEDDD OBS and never wanted to go home. They all looked at me and said

NO

But of course yesterday I was bombarded by two MSN convos which proclaimed their undying love for the course and that they totally wanted to go back. One person even said she CRIED on the bus. Talk about hardcore.

Anyway I shall begin my recount:

The first day wasn't too bad. We went to school, put our bags down outside the auditorium and it was like this SEA of BAGS blocking up the entire corridor. I had to wade my way through it just to put my bag down. Then we had assembly in the audi and after that I decided to remove my pad. Cause removing my pad in OBS would be annoying and I didn't know whether they'd have a dustbin. Anyway my period was ending.

Then we got on the bus and set off. Yay.

We reached the jetty and stayed at this little house thingy in the burning. Hot. Sun. While our teachers fanned themselves and applied sunblock in the SHADE.

I'm not naming anyone.

BUT YOU ALL KNOW WHO RUBBED IT IN OUR FACES.

That's right! He said something dumb about us having to take economy class.

Then we met our instructors (ours looked like MS SU and sounded like MS KEK. No lie) and got onto the ferry and whee, welcome to camp Blaadeeheel.

Which is exactly how it was. See those repeated letters? That was the people's first responses to anything they didn't expect.

AHHHH

EEEEEE

Yes.

So we arrived at camp 1, walked all the way up this helluva long flight of stairs to the MPH or Multi-Purpose-Hall. Then we put our bags down and waited for the briefing. Just a note, the MPH was large. And it had rock climbing walls. And these CRAZYASS CLIMBIND CHALLENGE THINGS. Like there was this zig zag kind of ladder with this rockclimbing LOG attached and a ROPE LADDER at the end. Later we found out it was called 'Snakes and Ladder'

I didn't know Carmen was afraid of heights. -laughs-

Then, we had the opening ceremony thing where this instructor called Jill made this speech to psyche us up. We...uh....it didn't work. Out batch isn't particularly ON. It's like the further down the generation line MGS goes, the less enthu we all are.

BUT WE TRIED OUR BEST. YEAH! And we were told to reply OIII! to MGS OI!

Then we were put into groups. I mean we were already in groups so we were given names. I mean group names. So some people were Tock Seng, some were Ghandi (they changed their names to Elves. Something to do with rhyming with twelve or...something), some were Washington, some were Eng Soon, some were Dhanabalan etc.

Ours was Rajaratnam. At first I kept getting mixed up with Thamanshamugaratnam. How? I have only one answer which you would understand ONLY if you were there. That is the Open House.

Yay. So first we had this teamwork thing where she made us transfer this rope thing from one end of the circle of people all around until we reach the end again. We took...some time. Then she made us squat down and hold hands under our butts, it looked really obscene. And now Carmen is famous for using her chin to move the rope to her hand. HAHA.

Then after that we had this trust challenge thing where we fell onto this canvas sheet from this platform. It was a high platform. And we were caught by our friends who held the canvas sheet.

The role-call went something like this.

Person who's falling and scared shitless: Raja ready?
People down there who are highly amused: Ever ready! Pull!
Person who's falling and still scared as hell: Falling!
People down there tuck in their chins and laugh to themselves: Fall

Then we were assigned roles. (I was store IC. Haha haha. Haha. That's not funny.) Then we had this crappy lunch where we carried this large yellow box and sorted out all the food which was all perservatives and carbs and canned foods and biscuits. Dear God, I hate biscuits. Why? Because they get all mushy and stuck in my teeth.

So what we had for lunch was peanut butter biscuits, oreos, raisins (fibre, to make us shit), apples, digestive biscuits, carbs carbs carbs carbs more carbs and ho, what do we have here? MORE CARBS YAAAAAAAY.

Then we hiked up that damn hill which is so freaking high and so freaking tiring and we had to bring all our stuff up that damn hill in order to get to our dorm which we DIDN'T EVEN SLEEP IN DAMMIT. So instead, me, the store ic, went to do the accounting for the things. And I, being the awesome person that I am, went to supervise the people and asked them to count while I stood around and waited for the numbers and ticked accordinglyh. I'm so useless. D:

AARGH.

So anyway we left our stuff there, packed up tents and pots and helmets and the belts and stuff and headed downstairs, no whoops, sorry, downHILL. Then we hung around and trekked all the way out of the campus to this forest near the sea then we hiked up this other giant hill and into this freaking forest. And more freaking forest. And weyhay, guess what?! More freaking forest with WHEEE randoms roots popping out from NOWHERE and random felled trees on the ground. I almost tripped.

Then we pitched our tents on this flat ground on the hill surrounded by trees. I still have an irrational fear of branches randomly falling on our tents. Then we set up these REALLY EASY TENTS. And I mean EASY in the sense that if you're not in guides, you wouldn't know what the hell I'm talking about. Well I'm talking about thin as hell poles, think ANOREXIC, and easily assembled tents with a thin flysheet and a tent with a BOTTOM as in no need to pin up the flaps of the tent or line the ground with newspaper (we do have to line the exterior with a groundsheet and the interior with ponchos).

But then we were short of one groundsheet so this one group couldn't put up their tent fully. So Diana and Carmen went downhill, trekked all the way back to the dorms and god knows how long they took but they came back and they said they saw a dog swimming in the ocean.

Then we all went back downhill and back to the campus and did belaying

Role call

Climber (feeling relatively bored): Am I on belay?
Belayer (feeling just as bored): No, you're not. (takes in rope)
Climber (feels uncomfortable wedgie riding up underwear): Yeah, that's me.
Belayer: Pull check (climber pulls), Squeeze check (belayer squeezes) (STOP THINKING DIRTY FOOLS. HAHAHA.) Instructer check. (calls instructor who is still inspected other people's belay lines. boredom returns)
(Instructor finally comes along, gives the go)
Climber (impatient and bored.): Climbing.
Belayer (annoyed at impatience): Climb on.
Climber climbs and climbs and climbs. Stops. People below yell at her to go on 'REACH THE TOP MAN' Climber replies: CAN ALREADY LAR.
Belayer: Pull check, squeeze check, Instructor check. (waiting ensues)
Climber: Falling.
Belayer: Fall on.

Pause.

Belayer: Sit! Just let go and sit!
Climber: SCARED LAR.
Belayer (feeling impatient) (people behind her, assistant and dead weight all silent.)

Finally the climber lets go and sits on the harness.
Climber: I'm spinning!!!

Then we had some crappy dinner. Meaning we had rice (porridge) and tasteless noodles and canned FISH LUNCHEON MEAT. I MEAN WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? FISH LUNCHEON MEAT. IT'S DISGUSTING THAT'S WHAT. And there was corn. (You know the kind you see at Sizzler. The canned kind.) and there was sambal iran bilis and other crappy canned foods.

Then we washed up and took showers and went out to KAP (this little meeting place we dubbed KAP. Neat huh? Yeah, I didn't think so either.) and I did a little doodle of Carmen in awe of the rock climbing place.

Then we all went out to the floating pontoon and there was this GIANT PRAYING MANTIS. About the size of a handphone. Hoowee. Yeah then we just sat on the floating pontoon and did icebreakers like the bing bong game. ('This is a bing.' 'A what?' 'A bing' 'Oooh, thank you')

Then we did this little mind challenge and joined the dots in 4 lines and 3 lines and well, I suck.

Then the fire alarm went off so we scrambled back to the assembly place and we had to stay back because some teams (including us) dirtied the cooking place so badly. SO we had to go and wash up. And by we I mean some awesome volunteers like Diana.

Then we all had to partake in the arduous task of getting back to our campsite in the middle of a freaking forest in the middle of NOWHERE.

The second day we got up at 4.30. Well I tried to get them (my tent mates, Carmen, Zhi, Diana) up but they were all like, aiiyyaaahh cannn still sleep. Soo tiirreeddd. And they just went back to sleep. So I HAD TO FORCEFULLY YELL AT THEM TO GET THE HELL UP.

Then we striked tent and headed downhill and almost got lost. The stupid glow-sticks are so freaking helpful. Right.

So then we washed up and assembled and we assembled late.
LATE.

Then we did this crazy exercise routine. About 14 of each thing: pushups, crunches, ankle turning thing, superman, starjumps etc. CAN'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING. Then we did it all twice. Then we ran around and around until then instructors with their sadistic little minds were satisfied.

Then we had breakfast. Yaay. We had white bread and wholewheat with marmalade and peanut butter. Then we spread the rest of the condiments on the remaining bread after we were finished and kept it for day 3. Then we teamed up with Ghandi aka Elves. And we headed out to sea to learn how to paddle a kayak.

We brought out all the kayaks and then we lined them up and went into the water and made a circle. People started screaming when the water came up to chest level. Then we all have to lean back and our hair had to be wet if not you were splashed. Some people cheated by dipping their hats into the sea. Then we had to learn how to capsize and when me and zhi did it for the first time, I hit my head and I thought I was going to die because I couldn't come up. But we did it.

Then we brought out all the kayaks and learnt how to paddle and turn and stuff and I sat at the back and zhi was in the front and zhi's not all that gungho about it. But she's very useful.

Then we played water polo. Where our instructor tossed a ball into the sea and we had to paddle like we were madwomen to the ball and pick it up and toss it to her. One boat capsized while being super on.

Then in the end our team lost so we had to capsize as penalty. When we being rescused, I lost my paddle, and then I lost my spectacle straps and clips. D: AARRGHHH.

Then I was emo for the rest of the day.

Okay so after we capsized, we had to go back on land, and then it started raining. The weather was a bitch. But it was the only time it rained so we had to be glad...I think.

Yeah so we showered and then we uh...had lunch. Then we had this joint activity, by the pool, with Elves. We had to touch all the alphabets in ascending order and we would've gotten it first if we didn't make so many stupid blunders ha ha ha. Elves sure is smart.

So after that we spilt up and some people went to cook and some people went to pitch tents. We got a good spot that day, right beside the sea, you could see the sunset. It was awesome, but all we could see then was grass and bugs and the big-ass ship of a rope course. Haha

Then we went to the cooking site, had more crappy food like seasoned dry noodles and tuna fish and fish luncheon meat and boiled corn...bleah. Then we did our climbing challenge and I did the double-dutch something something...yeah, anyway it was the DDD and when I was climbing up, I climbed with Charmane cause we had to climb in pairs. Then I followed what our instructor told me to do and leaned back on teh rope and swung myself up to the second log and everyone was like 'WOOOOWWW HOW'D YOU DO THAT' ...uh. Yeah.

But I only made it to the 3rd? log...3rd or 4th, so compared to Jean's acheivement, which I found out about later (she got to the top log with Juliet.) it doesn't seem like anything anyway. Oh but Avvishka and Rachel(was it?) reached the second-last...it was cool. Yeah.

So after that we had reflections in the MPH (I lay down before everyone got there cause I was DEAD TIRED and tried not to open my mouth in case the randomly falling bugs of doom fell in. It was DISGUSTING. I mean I was just lying there and suddenly 'Pluck' oh, look, a dead bug, right next to me.)

Then we went to sleep. Whee.

On the third day we got up early, then I kind of lazed around in the MPH before every one else, I grabbed some old shoes from the dirty rack (and played cinderella, ha ha, no I actually checked to see if the dirty, disgusting, sandy shoes that were horribly discarded were the same size as my ones. You see, the other day my boating shoes began laughing at me...) then I wore them (while they were still damp) and then I went back upstairs for breakfast. Also, we went downstairs to put the backpacks in the speedboat and it was low tide so the platform to the pontoon was extra steep. I still say using the ridges are safe.

Anyway when we went back, me, zhi and mon all went to the toilet to shit it out so we wouldn't have to do it next day. Awesome, eh. Anyway we ran all over the place (which we found seemed a lot larger and a lot more distance of travelling at the time) to get to the pool toilet which was the ONLY toilet with TOILET PAPER at the time. Fricken. Hahah.

Yeah so then we got back down to the pier and we had to bring all the kayaks down to the shore, then we stood in a circle and did devotions. (You know, the warrior of light is one sick, twisted guy and hell if that writer wrote The Giver, WTF HELL THE STUPID WARRIOR OF LIGHT. Nrrgh.)

Yeah ignore my crazed ranting. Anyway we set off, whee. And then the next 6 hours was filled with craziness.

First we paddled like mad, then we slacked, then we paddled like mad. And then when we were going through this passage between Pulau Ubin and this random island, we saw the surface of the water bubbling, then suddenly I heard little splashing noises and somethings were popping out of the water! Like POPCORN. And then Carmen yelled 'FLYING FISH' and me being the idiot that I am said 'WHAT, FLYING FISH?' and Mon passed down the message 'FLYING FISH!'
(Later we learned it could have been sea snakes, and then Carmen said, well what is better, saying Sea snakes and scaring everyone, or saying flying fish?)

Then throughout the journey we saw 4 jellyfish. Well I (me and zhi) only say 2, we could've seen 3 but the third one...not so large. Yeah they were about the size of a noodle bowl and orangeybrown. The first time we saw one went something like this:

Zhi: Hey! Jellyfish!
Me: Huh. Wha? -pushes paddle into water-
Zhi: YOU! THAT! WHAT! YOU JUST HIT IT!
Me: Wha, no I didn't. Huh? Oh cool.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah then there was this one time, when Zhi was all

Zhi: I'm hungry
Me: Tough luck. Too bad, keep paddling.
Zhi (to instructors): IS THERE ANY HAPPY FOOD?
Me: LUNCH IS COMING. WHY ARE YOU HUNGRY ANYWAY? WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Instructors: Sure (tosses cake) Oops.
Zhi: NOOO (starts paddling towards cake merrily drifting away in the sea, hey it was in an air-tight bag)
Other people: We're hungry too!
Instructors: Here you go (tosses food to them) Here, take this (tosses food to me)
Me: Hey! I don't- Ooh cheese bun. Oi Zhi, here, you want or not.
Zhi: I want I want!

Ha ha ha ha, we were given two cheese buns and two granola bars. Uhh, recounting that food distribution (a lot of rafting and passing of food and 'STRETCH! STRETCH!' and 'I CAN'T REACH!' and 'PADDLE CLOSER!') will take too long.

Anyway we paddled and paddled and paddled and PADDLEDREAALLLYYFAST and paaddddlleeedddreeealllyysllooww and ROCKEDCAUSEOMGSTUPIDSPEEDBOATIDIOTGENERATEWAVESWE'REGONNACAPSIZEDAMMIT and FRICKROCKSGORIGHTGORIGHT and SHITTOOFAROUTGOLEFTGOLEFT and HURRYUPWE'RENOTGOINGTOMAKEITTHETIIIIDDEEE and okaylunchtimehahahaharaftttt and OHFRICKWHATorangewhat,canthrow,biodegradable and YOUPEEDINTHEWATERwhat'swrong and SINGINGLOLSINGING.

Oh there was this thing that happened

Me: Hey, you know this duu du duu du duu du du du du du du duuuu duu du duu du du du du du du du duuu du du du duu du du duu du du du du dududududududududududu duuu
Zhi: Yeah, that's Brightdown
Me: What, no! I thought this was Brightdown dedededededede de de de dededededede de de de de dudududududuududududududuudududu (Doubt and trust tune)
Zhi: No! That's...something else...the other one was Brightdown!
Me: NO! That isn't Brightdown!
(Commence dumb argument over stupid anime ending themes)

Then me and Zhi just sang random songs and then WE FORGOT HOW TO SING THE SCHOOL SONG. HOW SCREWED UP IS THAT? uurrghh. So yeah, then we finally made it to the beach which was like...it seriously looked like a restricted area. I mean crappy sand, fence with gate, rocks to climb up and some more crappy 'sand'. I don't think it deserves to be called sand really, more like gravel. Or rocks. Yeah rocks. So anyway me and zhi were like the first ones not leaders to get on shore. And then we had to help carry up the kayaks, which may I remind you are FRICKING SHIT HEAVY. I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE. But there were a lot of other people helping so yeah, it was cool.

But that hill! That stupid hill up there was just rocks and it was so freaking scary i thought I would slip and fall at any given moment and crack my freaking head. Oh did I mention the tide was coming in FAST? It was insane. Insane I tell you.

So it was a mad dash to grab all the kayaks and drag them ashore and lay them out to dry and did I mention that the sun was FRICKING HOT? Stay out there for 40 seconds and already we feel like dying of heat stroke. Me and si were so bloody tired we hid under the tarp when it was brought up. (And anyone who's read DN, 40 seconds bitch.)

Then we had to pitch our tents in the fricking SUN. Know why? Cause Elves got the SHADE! That's why!!! But we compromised and got some shade. Hur. We choped it and didn't have to pitch out tents in the puddle or anywhere else which sucked.

Then we finished, and we got to go to the QUARRRYYYY. WHOOO!!! Everyone was psyched but the walk there was slow and tiring...not really tiring but just slow cause everyone was tired. There was a lot of mud, I don't think anyone really cared and that just proves my point on how OBS raises your tolerance level. It's like, once you're dirty, hell cares if you get more dirty.

Then we reached the quarry and the instructors told us all to go (you know...toilet) in the bushes before we jumped in if not we'd pollute the water. So we just kind stood around and waited for the people to go, (I already went in the water, twice. Cause I really couldn't dahan and I did it at the shore cause doing it in the middle of the ocean with jellyfish? No way.) then the instructor showed us how to jump into the quarry. It's basically the jetty jump (we learned that later) only into cleaner, cooler and fresher water without salt and jellyfish. Hur hur.

Yes we couldn't see the bottom but we were told to jump far out cause there were rocks. See, the entrance to the quarry had this small clearing after we went through the gate and then when you reach the edge, it's not a shore, nope, it's a deep drop. About 1m? Yeah so it was scary. Diana went first.

I had to take off my specs and cross my arms over my chest before I jumped in.
It's kind of like being a mummy (the crossing arms thing) and you keep your body straight as you jump (I think I remember doing that duirng survival swimming). So I did that and I was 4th? I think. Somehow most of the sbc girls went first.

Then we just swam around and the instructors joined us and it was all cool. And Carmen was freaking out Hur. But she finally got in. Haaahahahaa. Josephine was the other 'freaking-out-cause-swimming's-not-her-thing' case. But Carmen and the rest encouraged her and said

All: Don't worry! It's fine!
Carmen: Yeah! I did it, and I'm fine!

Hur. So she finally got in. Good thing the op wasn't wasted. The water was fricking cool. I mean it was like JUST RIGHT. It wasn't too hot or too cold, it was like lukewarm with a side of ice. Then we lay on our backs and talked in circles and splashed water but no one drifted too far out. I think we were all sensible enough not to do that. Haha and all the sbc girls grouped together, well Sanny went off with her friends at one time. But it was mostly all us and it was like we were playing in the kiddy pool again and school was nothing and obs was nothing and everything was all about the water and the friends and the laughs.

No, nobody drowned.

Oh but Carmen and YanYee had a race and Zhi was the judge. Haahahaa, cause for Carmen who can't swim, she decided to run in teh water and Yan Yee raced with her. Then Carmen won and YanYee splashed her. Haa.

And Diana was just lying on her back the whole time. Like she was sleeping or meditating.

Carmen also got freaked out a few times cause we made loud noises behind her and she just jumped. Haahahhaa. Also she was facinated by the clear water. Yeah the quarry was so fricking clean (I think we dirtied it though) you could tie your shoelaces underwater (which Carmen exclaimed like a little kid). I tried it, it was pretty cool. But you still couldn't see the bottom and I kept wondering if Nessie would pop out.

After about half an hour of goofing off, we got out. Reluctantly. And then we heard some noises and rustling in the bushes in front of us and LO AND BEHOLD. Jean and XY's group appeared. Man, we had a SHOCK. And Jean was like, is this the quarry? And I was like, you can't go in. You need permission.

And I realised they had finished their trek and they were tired and cheering and...ha.

Then came all the crazy recounts about how the instructors sent them on a wild goose chase from there to there to there to there and to some stupid village and ...blah.

But anyway we went back to the camp while Jean's group was debriefed and I changed in the tent cause Carmen and teh others went to use the toilet, I think. They took a damn long time.

I didn't shit at all on the third day. Oh wait, I did. In the morning.

So then we had dinner, it took a some time to prepare and I didn't help. Yeah I never help at dinner. Ain't I a stinker? Instead, I took my camera and took pictures of people. One with me and xy, then Juliet and Jean and then Becca and Zenn and friends and lots others.

Then during dinner, the giant ants we usually see on the basketball courts? Yeah, they wanted to join our FOOD. So they climbed into the mess tin with the corn and into the mess tin me and Carmen(was it? It was either her or zhi)'s mess tin.

And Elanor felt sick so she stayed in the tent. The motion sickness caught all of us badly, it was like the whole world was just bobbing up and down and up and down cause we were on the kayaks for so long.

So after dinner I went down to the beach with a few other people, and we washed our utensils in sea water ...urgh. And it was super low tide so we went to the shore line to wash all our mess tins and our utensils and it was disgusting and we saw pieces of tuna fish slowly bob away into the horizon. And corn etc.

And we had to bury our leftovers so we combined them with Jean's group and Elves (I think) and I took pictures of the crap we had to bury. It was really disgusting. Then I took a picture of Carmen standing on the shoreline, hahahaaa.

Then after dinner it was dark so we brought our torchlights and had our debrief. I picked off the weed seeds from my pant legs by the light of the torch. Then we split up and were told about the guard duty we had. Which was like we kind of have to patrol the place (in our own tent groups) and we have to carry torchlights and camping sticks and chase away stray dogs that come to sniff the tent and wild boars that...uhhh. Let's not go there.

Anyway we took the midnight shift, the really really horrible, latest one. Because some tent had contacts to be taken off and some tent had pills to take etc. etc.

So during the debrief, we talked about how we got through the kayaking thing and I counted the stars (21! The most I've ever seen in one sky.) and picked more weed seeds off my pant legs.

Then we went back to the tent, had to scuffle around for the ponchos, sweated like mad, found out the ponchos were the Elves' ponchos and didn't care, then Jean came back to the tent after her debrief(you know she NEVER closes the fricking tent flap. Got to kill her for that one day. The ants will come in and the mosiquitos and poor Carmy will have sandflies attacking her skin.) But Jean had to tent with us cause her group didn't have a tent.

So anyway after some rumaging and spraying and squirting, we FINALLY, FINALLY went to sleep. Then the next thing I knew, light was being shined into our eyes and we got up. We were handed packets of isotonic powder and the camping sticks and the large torchlight and we climbed out of the tent. Leaving Jean behind sleeping like a giant baby twit.

And so we wandered around for half an hour, well actually it was more like we wandered around for like 5 minutes, covered the whole camp ground (bumped into Zenn who wanted to go to the toilet but her tent mates were sawing logs and ignoring her, I think Zhi took her), then we went back to our groundsheet and sat on it and talked, then we poured water into our packets and shared it like two to one. It was really good.

Then the last 5 minutes we made one more round and folded up the groundsheet shone the lights of the torch into another tent and went to sleep. :D

In the morning, I lay in the tent listening to the other group (Jean and XY's group) head out, and there was a lot of talking and the sound of grass and kayaks and haaa.

Yeah so about the time when everyone left, our whole tent got up and I had to go take a piss. It was still pretty dark, cause it was around 6 in the morning so we had to bring our torchlights. I had to squat over two stones and pee. And there were like a hundred odd flies buzzing around the damn place.

Then after we did what we had to do, we went back and packed up and had breakfast which was the sandwiches we made on day two. Then me and Carmy went around to pick up the trash that the inconsiderate groups left behind.

It was gruesome. It was like BLOODSHED. LITERALLY.

The first bloody tissue we saw was stuck to the stalk of a tall grass facing the entrance of the beach thing. It was like a flaming red flower, a really rare and disgusting red flower. Carmen put on the plastic bag (which I told her to keep cause you never know, and haaaahahaha!!! it came in handy) and she picked it off and I held open the bag. Then we wandered around picking up shit tissues and menstro tissues and pissed tissues and bottles and crap and...

There are no words to describe the gross feeling I had.

Some idiots even threw them like over the hedge on the way to the peeing area and into the puddle in the road behind it (they thought it was all trees). SO FREAKING WHAT.

Yeah so in the end we got that all done and we packed up and we saw the sun rise. Hur.

And then we had the warm-up games. We played evolution (I never got past chicken, or maybe eagle. Hahah no enlightenment) and we played mini-olympics. Doing jumping jacks after kayaking for like 6 hours and sleeping on a gravel floor, not fun. Not fun.

Then we were given a briefing on where to go and maps and we got everyone to go toilet and assigned roles to carry bags and we set off. On the way there were like a lot of mosquitos and we thought we were lost and we took a lot of breaks at the shelters and man, it was so tiring. I was dumb enough to wear a long-sleeved shirt. (But Carmy was dumber, she couldn't be bothered anymore so she wore like t-shirt and shorts) I carried teh tent bag at first but after a while I was so fricking tired I collasped, well actually I sat down, on the road and Diana took over. That girl is nuts. I can't believe she can carry that much. You have no idea how heavy that shit is. It had the groundsheet!!

We got to the first destination (Chek Jawa) before the Elves, but it took us around 2 hours to get there. We were so bloody tired after that. We had lunch and we set off again and we slowly feel behind the Elves and we kept stopping to take photos at our pit-stops. The memories were good though. We went to the previous village head's house and to the sport's arena and to the quarry and to the German Girl's Shrine. And on the way it drizzled and we passed by so many people on bikes and there were a lot of ang mors and they asked us how we were and I said 'Horrible'. Hur.

Also, I peed at one of the shelters. HAHAHA. I mean the bushes behind the shelter. I did it twice, I think. And we passed by shops that said 'THIRSTY? COME IN AND BUY A COLD DRINK LAR' and there was no one there and there were no drinks and we were so tired and thristy and sad and just thinking about it makes my shoulders hurt.

There were a lot of stray dogs and all throughout we kept calling 'Car/bicycle coming! Raja keep right/left!' And we made coffee in one giant 1.5l bottle and the whole group of 16 people shared it. And we made a few of those, along with milo drinks.

Maaann.

Then after the German Girl Shrine, we headed through the path through the tall grass near the sea. And I saw a grass snake disappear into the grass in the distance. I was pretty freaked out. I still have my irrational fear of snakes, but now I figure I can just dump by giant backpack on it if it comes close.

And then after the seaside thing, we bumped into Washington, I think. (Nicole's group) and we kinda joined forces to head through the stupid forest. Urghhhh. So we walked and we walked and we walked and I was reminded about the How To and I haven't finished it yet and we walked and we walked...

Then we finally, finally, reached camp 2 and it was cool. I think. They had a lot of showers (but for the whole camp) and they had the flying fox and their camp was smaller and less places to run to and man, it was so much better than our hell hole where we had to climb to the top of a fricking hill just to put down our stuff.

We met Elves at the camp 2 and they left before we did so we took our time, rested and then we made our way back to camp 1. I think Elanor sprained her ankle or something and people were ready to collapse. Then we made it past the reservoir for camp 2's water supply (and I think camp 1's as well) and then we had to pick our way through more freaking forest and more hellish hills and climb up more sucky slopes and then, HALLELUJAH. Camp 1.

And we saw that the other groups had their tents all set up. And just then, who did we bump into? Jean's group. And Jean. Who sadi that they'd finished the kayaking in 4 and a half hours, a new OBS record and a huge blow to our ego and our rage. Even if the flame of fury was like dampened by our sweat. Then the winds blew and I got reaaallllyy cold cause my shirt was soaked through and yeah.

Then we got our tents up and we headed back to bathe. :D:D:D BATHE!!!!

After we were rejuvenated we went down to the cooking place and it was like 8pm. And we had to cook meals for the other team and present it along with a meaning for each food. We were given REAL FOOD this time to cook it with. Like rice and apples and sausages and fresh veggies like green beans and omg, real food. Yay. So we cooked fried rice, omelette with green beans, vegetable soup, made orange drink, rice, APPLE CRUMBLE (I made this, kind of, with the apples Justina and Sarah cut up and the biscuit layer was crushed by, hm, Sam, I think and possible Josephine. Yuan han helped. And after we made it, Justina called it her baby. Hur.), baked beans among other things...

Then we arranged it in an awesome order (we as in everyone not me, for everything cause I can't cook and I suck at impromptu) and Monica(?) went up to present the meaning. Like how we started or something and what we became etc. And Elves did about the same thing. Then we were told this story about a really famous housebuilder and how just before he retired his boss wanted him to build one more house so he anyhow build and finally his boss told him 'You have worked faithfully for me for so many years, so this will be your going-away present' and then they let us eat what we cooked. We weren't disappointed. A lot of us were like telling Elves 'We made this so awesome, you guys better cherish it' and they told us the same things. Hahahaaa. And we were all complaining about how we should get to eat our own food so when they announced that moralor whatever, everyone cheered.

Then we sat in a circle and passed the food around. I didn't know Justina was saliva conscious. But apparently, yeah. She had to use the lid of the pot to hold her food. So we talked and ate and the rice was sucky cause it was all crunchy and I took one bite and it scraped the roof of my mouth, I can still feel the burn. I gave up eating the rice. But the fried rice, oh man, that was HEAVEN. And the apple crumble was pretty awesome too.

Then we cleaned up, like...in a crazy manner. Crazy how, You ask? If crazy isn't Carmy naming her bottle and going so high it was like she banged her head on the moon and Sam joining in with Zhi and most all the people in the group. It was nuts. Water being splashed everywhere, soap suds went flying and so did nickname after nickname.

(I think a Romeo was passed around. Carmen's waterbottle was the star.)

Then after that, I got my stuff together from the poolside. We had this crazy discussion outside the toilet, me and some other people, and we were saying stuff like how our instructor was really cute (like ditzy) adn we talked about OBS as a whole and how we were all going to go home the next day. Yeah. Then I brushed my teeth and put on mosquito repellant and made my way to the tent with Diana.

Then when we were in the tent, we were just lying awake and talking and talking about God and stuff like that and life and all that crap and people from the other tents yelled at us to keep quiet. Then we were just talking until Carmen and Zhi came back from God-Knows-Where. And they were like "You guys missed the briefing"

...

...

HUH?

Yeah. So then we had to settle down and go to bed (after the mosquito coil was placed outside)

Whee.

Then in the morning, I woke up and got my tent mates up. Then I said I had to go toilet (hahaa, take a dump) so I went with Zhi while Carmen and Diana unpitched the tent. So we both went up to brush our teeth and take a dump, then when we got back down, Carmen and Diana were gone and we had to keep up the horrible wet soaked ponchos and groundsheet. But never mind since they did the tent.

So then we kept up everything and brought it back to the cooking area where we lay our ponchos and groundsheet out and went to the assembly area. Then we waited for a while then Carmen and Diana came down and Carmen said that she dozed off slightly outside the toilet and she felt this wet thing on her hand and when she opened her eyes a dog was staring at her.

So after that we had assembly and did exercise stuff. First we had to do weird handshakes like the fisherman's handshake and the milking cow handshake etc. Then we played weird games like rock-paper-scissors where the loser has to go to the back of the other person and we have to do this weird routine before we play the game and there was this girl who won even the instructors! That's some skill!

Then we had breakfast and we wrote in our journals and washed the tarps and everything in this giant basin at the taps and we hung out the ponchos to dry and basically the entire day was about cleaning. Then we did the trust game again where we had to jump forward this time and ring a bell. It was fricken scary and the only person who managed to ring the bell was Astri. Before we could jump we had to say something inspiring like what we learnt and how to improve ourselves.

Then we cleared up our storeroom and we went to buy our souvenirs from the store, I got a camera cover and a shirt. Then we sorted out the money we owed (for losing stuff) and then we waited in the hall for the debrief and had lunch before we went to the pier and waited some more. Then we FINALLY got onto the ferry and we FINALLY got to the waiting area before the buses came. I bought a drink with the money I had and I had to let three other people drink cause we were so damn thirsty and we didn't want to drink water and they didn't have money. That F&N Grape felt good going down the ol gullet. Haha after OBS we seriously weren't saliva conscious anymore.

Then we got onto the bus and headed to SCHOOL FINALLY.

Then when we got to school, we were whooping and cheering the whole way that we could go HOME. Then Mr Seow came and said something about a surprise in class and we groaned cause we thought it would be more homework. And SURPRISE SUPRISE IT WAS A GOODY BAG.

And XiYun said YAY MORE HAPPY FOOD.

Then we waited for our parents to come and we all went home. The end.

Oh and when I got home there were ants in my bed somehow and I stayed up to use my laptop in bed. Hur.

MY RECOUNT IS DONE. I CAN FINALLY POST NORMAL THINGS. SORRY GUYS.

THE KID NEEDS YOU.

To help. Me.

I'm sure I approached a lot of you recently with a goal in mind.

To find out what the hell is WRONG with our...thing.

You know. The thing.

The THING.

Spelt with a S!

Well actually it also has a C.

And now that I think about it, I think a H is in order.

And you're all probably going 'OO' right? The sound or the emoticon whatever.

And lastly, if you got all that, 'She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead'

Did you guess the song? No? LOSERS.

That's right, you all SUCK. HAHAHAHA.

So, what's wrong with the THING? You ask? WELL YOU CAN'T. CAUSE I'M THAT'S WHAT I'M ASKING YOU. I ASKED YOU FIRST SO NYEH NYEH. YOU GOTTA ANSWER. ANSWER DAMN YOU.

I NEEEDDDDD YOOUUURRR HEELLLPPP.

HEEELLLPPPP...

By the way I can swear in 11 different languages. HAHAHA, but you all know that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkJf0md1kG8&feature=channel_page

And if you read the comments, you'll find more. So now I can curse in 12 different languages.

And in a totally unrelated and complete switch in temperament just like the damn mood swings I might experience during this pmsing period of mine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

Talor Swift meets Viva la Vida. I personally prefer Viva la Vida because (I don't like Love Story) I listened to the latter, watched the music video, gagged.

It doesn't cut it for me. The words are too...cliche and they don't mean much.

But I give kudos for the tune. It sounds great in instrumentals.

SO ONCE AGAIN, I AM DOLLOPING A HUGE LOAD OF 'BAGS IN YOU' AND 'P-LEAVES' BECAUSE I AM A HUGE SUPPLIER TO THE THREE TREES OF SUMMER AND THE 'P-LEAVES' I COLLECTED DURING AUTUMN LAST YEAR ARE FRESH AND GREEN AND NEED TO BE HANDED OUT IMMEDIATELY.

SO TAKE THESE 'P-LEAVES' AND HELP ME FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE DAMN THING SPELT IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WAY TO AVOID COMPLICATIONS.